Back home

It starts with a call at 1:00 in the afternoon. "I just wanted to see if you kids wanted to come over for a mini wine tasting. We can do that or..." (as we hear Mom in the background)..."or Mom just suggested fajitas and ritas. Whatever you like." So begins the Sunday night Miner get together.

We arrive. Dinner that's supposed to take place at 5:30 finally gets going around 6:30 with all of our favorites. We first gather around the kitchen table with an endless supply of pre-dinner snacks and beverages. Today it's chips and veggies. Ok ok. It's chips and veggies everytime. (With a side of sour cream...) While someone finishes up the preparations, we all gather outside while my dad grills and the boys play in the yard. We eventually sit down, preparing ourselves for yet another Miner family meal...and to whomever has joined us in one of these ventures, you know what that entails. Steaks for everyone but my mom and I, salad and veggies for everyone but Chris and the boys, some sort of alternative (this time it was fish) for the weaklings and of course wine and dessert for everyone. So the night begins. During which my dad, brother in law, and I seem to enjoy the cab blend a little more than everyone else, making corny jokes only we seem to find funny- Dad being the best (or worse!) of course. We watch the boys as they finish before everyone else and play with the random toys strewn about the livingroom. This all goes on for quite some time until my mom brings out the pre dessert-dessert, this time "Mother's" taffy cookies- an old school favorite of my sister's.

It ends with port, dancing, and the music a little too loud, while Ethan, the music loving nephew, urges me to get up and dance with him. Because let's face it, I don't need much coercing and he knows it.

And I'm home.

I'm going to be home for quite some time- 2 months as of right now. Ethan, my first nephew and the cutest godson ever, can't seem to wrap his head around it. "Will you be here next week, Auntie Em"- a name he hasn't called me since he was a baby. "Yes Ethan! I'm going to be here for many weeks." "Will you be here when we see next year?" Ethan asks. "Ok, now your pushing it." Kidding.

I made the decision to go home after finding out that my sister's third baby, our first girl, was diagnosed with Spina Bifida- a neural tube disorder effecting the baby's spinal cord and brain. The baby, tentatively named Penelope Star until they decide otherwise, will need surgery immediately following the birth. Spina Bifida patients have an open spine which therefore forms a sack (usually along their back) filled with their spinal fluid, cords, and nerves that weren't able to naturally form in their spine. The surgeons will try to place the contents of the sack back into her spine, close her skin and possibly place a shunt in her brain to drain any excess fluid. It sounds very serious, and it is, and if anyone knows me, they know how deeply rooted I am to my sister, thus it's not a surprise that I want to be near her at this time.

I'm a strong believer in family. Sure, we all have our ups and downs, but this is the perfect time to go back to the foundation. Centuries have passed and I feel that society has lost the nature to gather and help one another. Women used to gather in tribes and raise one another's child. Men used to form groups to go out hunting, help feed the trail and support one another's young. That to me feels natural, thus the reason I've decided to come home. Especially if the person I can help is my sister, who by the way is healthy and oh so happy.

So I'm here. I get the bottom bunk while Ethan gets the top. I use the word "pookie" and put random animal names after their real ones: Wesley Bear. I find myself emersed in old stories, toddler sounds, and favorite recipes. I easily give myself away to Texas weather, mosquito bites, and too much ice cream after too much food. I remember who I was the last time I lived here, and relish in the fact that I'm a different person than who I once was.

I must say that all my friends and loved ones have been nothing but supportive in regards to this move. It helps to have the thoughts and prayers that so many people have left me with. Thanks.

So have a New York beer on me. Stay up too late and enjoy the noise and hustle of the city. Until I'm there to join you, I'm happy with the company of my family and hometown.

Love love,
Em

I'm still here and definitely kicking

Well, well, well. Welcome back old friends. This blog will hopefully be the start of more blogs to come. If you hadn't noticed I...ahem...haven't posted in a while. The truth is I went to Ireland and Wales to study my heritage in hopes of finding out how far back the term "Loud Family" came into play. Kidding.

The real truth is New York City. I've been here learning, figuring out, and examining many things. This is the time in my life where I feel like a sponge again. I don't think I've ever done this much self exploration, and like I told my lovely mother yesterday- if I had to move across the country to learn about myself, so be it; I don't regret that decision at all. Not that they mind, except for the sheer fact that they miss me. I'll see them soon though- more on that later.

There are many things that have changed since moving here. I would definitely say that the "anything goes" attitude of NY has helped. I've come to enjoy alcohol (everything's ok in moderation, right Poppy?), I'm not nearly the germaphobe I was before moving here, I've dabbled in more natural and organic foods and ideas, I enjoy diversity even more than I did in Houston, I'm better at rolling with the punches, and I've learned that the subway is secretely the place where EVERYTHING happens, but what I don't see doesn't hurt me. I did see that dude digging in his nose and wipe it under the seat though, and that's what made me wonder what I put my hands and butt on everyday. I've come to question (of course the time would come) why I'm here, what I need to do with my life, and how I can benefit people.

The key to NY isn't how much money you make, how many gigs you get, how many people you know, or how pretty you are. OF COURSE those things play a huge factor, but the real key to making it here is self strength. There are a ton of people that can't handle it. It's a hard city to get in the middle of, and if you can't get ahold of yourself you fall into the pressures of the city and the people living here. You have to have control of yourself enough to stay true to who you are, while being open to new people and ever-changing situations.

Knowing that makes me feel that much stronger. It's hard here. It's really hard. Even if I try to surround myself with beauty everyday, I'm still bombarded with negativity, superficiality, or generally hard people and situations. Still, I have always said that this is the perfect place for me right now at this age. I have been thrown (I did it to myself, I'll admit that) into the lion's den (I obviously haven't lost the art of being dramatic...). But that's ok! I am forced to make decisions, more so than if I lived in any other city. This is because NY doesn't wait for anyone. If you can't keep up, you sink. More so, if you can't keep up, there will be someone else to fill your old role. Therefore, you have to know yourself and figure out where you want to go and who you want to be. If you don't know that, someone will figure it out for you- and there are plenty of people to imitate in this city.

But I'm not doing it. I'm not going to bend or settle, just accept. No one's perfect. I'm not, and have definitely fought with myself to accept that. I've come to accept that I stutter when I'm nervous. And fall in front of cute guys. And don't like listening to musicals. And have more meat on my body than ever before. Most of all, I've come to accept the fact that I'm here, learning, re-learning, and learning some more about who I am and who I want to be.

They say your first year in NY is the hardest. Well bitches, I have had my one year anniversary, and I am still here. Not only am I here, but I'm HEALTHY, making enough money to save for bigger and better things, emerged in positive friendships, and continuing (though it's always hard) to accept myself. It hasn't been easy, at all, but it's been fun. And I'm proud of myself, damnit!

More to come later. I promise.

Love love,
Em

O Brother, Where Art thou?

The above picture is one of my most favorites of all the pictures Aaron and I took while he was here. We had an amazing few days together. So amazing that this week I caught myself thinking many times, "last week Aaron and I were doing this..." "at this time last week Aaron and I visited...." "a week ago when Aaron was here..." Needless to say, we had a wonderful time. It was so great seeing him. I hadn't seen him in 5 months-maybe the longest seperation we've ever had. I was so overwhelmed when I saw him that I started to cry. I greeted him at the airport, and held onto him as soon as he got off of the escalator. Sweet Bud.

I haven't been able to do a lot of touristy things, so we filled our days with sight seeing, walking, and more walking. Aaron was a total trooper though. It still amazes me that we're such good friends. Despite our differences, we've grown to enjoy each other's company and support. He was exactly what I needed and was the perfect medicine.

I will use this opportunity to brag on him. Aaron just turned 21 and is already the soux chef at a retirement community restaurant in Austin, TX. Before this he spent 4 months as the EXECUTIVE CHEF at a top of the line resort in King Salmon, Alaska. I always knew he was a great chef, but this really put things into perspective. He's grown into such an endearing friend, and I'm so excited to see what his next venture will be.

I don't think he's ever given himself enough credit. He's smart, handsome, funny, and talented, but most of all he's kind. We've had our differences in the past, but I never once doubted his heart. He's always been generous and would kindly give up anything for his family. Even now, as I look at his picture posted on my refrigerator, I imagine all that's meant to be for him. Here's to you, Bud. You make me smile when I least expect it. You've touched my soul and helped me more than you know.

I had the best time with you.

Love love.
Em

PS: I posted 3 new blogs today, so please make sure to scroll down and read the next 2.