I'm learning so much!

I woke up early this morning to meet with the head Pitney Bowes rep for New York. As I was waiting in quite possibly the worst looking "reception" area I've ever seen, I realized that I just couldn't do it. I can't work in a mail room for Pitney Bowes. Considering I'm trying to be as logical as possible, I stayed for the interview. The dude was really willing to find me something, but it would be in the mail room, not as a receptionist like I preferred. We got settled over there and then he sent me to speak with a mail room manager in a huge law firm in times square. You would think the mail room in this snazzy building (in times square!) would be nice, wouldn't you? HA! There weren't any windows, there were random desks, and the only office was small and crowded- and that was the manager's! Before I met with this site manager I knew without a doubt that I wasn't going to be working for PB anymore. I thought about cancelling our meeting while I was on my way there, but I thought I should at least give it a try. Well, I tried it, but I'm not doing it.

As of right now they think I'm going to be there on Monday morning to work in the mail room. It's not even the fact that I'm the only girl that would be working there. It's not even the fact that I would have to go out and buy new clothes for this job (uh...spending money isn't really my thing these days), it's not even the fact that when I walked in all those weird mail room men looked at me like I was fresh meat. Of course all those things add to my decision, but the main reason why I can't take this job is because I moved here to pursue acting. I can't go to auditions if I'm delivering mail. When I had gotten there this morning I felt in my gut that I shouldn't do it. I feel very strongly about being able to make money to support myself, but I'd much rather be living paycheck to paycheck in a job I like rather than one I hate. If I'm working 40 hours a week at a dead end job that makes me unhappy, I'm not going to be myself when it's time to audition or take classes. It's a lifestyle change, and thousands of people in this city are doing it. I'll be poor and I'll have to eat off of a bag of beans for a week, but that's just the sacrifice I'm going to have to take.

You know how if you're lost in Houston you just have to look for I-10 towards San Antonio and you'll eventually find your way back? Well it's kind of like that here, except it deals with the N or the W train. The N or the W always heads to Astoria, so I'm always on it. I was in times square (after meeting with the manager in the wretched mail room), and went down to the station to head back to Astoria. I took the N train knowing that wherever I was I would get home. About 20 minutes later I realized that something wasn't right. Everything looked different- I didn't worry because I knew I would get home evenutally. I just thought they were going a round about way. Well, after looking at a subway map 40 minutes into my ride (I should have made it to Astoria in 20), I realized that I had gotten on the right train (the N) but took the one going south instead of north. I ended up on the south side of Brooklyn- quite a ways a way from Astoria (which is in Queens). I thought about getting some lunch while I was there, but I literally only had $2 in my wallet and no debit card- it hasn't come in the mail yet.

So! I made it back safe and sound. Next time I'll know that you can't just get on the right train, you have to be heading in the right direction as well!

Until next time,
Em

A couple days later

Have I only been here for a few days? I have done more in the past 3 days then I have in months! I've probably walked 1700 miles (thanks to high class dog walking), gone to 2 bars in 2 nights (thanks to the professional dog walker), and have smiled more in the past 3 days than who knows when. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration because I really enjoy smiling, but it has been a lot.

So the first night was...different. Our duplex doesn't have any air conditioning, so I bought a fan a couple hours after I arrived. Due to the heat and still air, we sleep with our windows open. I was pretty tired from the trip, but it was really hard to stay asleep with street noise and bright lights. I honestly remember thinking in the middle of the night that I needed to pull a Sarah Jessica Parker and buy one of those sleeping masks. I know, very snazzy, but highly needed.

The second and third nights were a breeze. Literally. We've had our fair share of rain, so it got much cooler. Also, I was so flippen tired world war 3 could have been going on, and I still would have slept.

It really hasn't hit yet. Maybe it will hit when I see a little red headed boy on the street with his cute red headed mother. Maybe I'll talk to my family on the web cam, see their faces, and realize that I'm here for good. I bought a one way ticket. What has hit me is how I feel oddly at home in this city. Yes, I've only been here for a couple of days, but I can usually tell pretty quickly if things suit me. The streets are loud, crowded, and dirty, but it just works for me. There are so many places that are absolutely stunning, and I can't help but feel terribly romantic as I'm walking by. I stumbled upon Bryant Park today along 42nd street and 5th Ave (I think) and just sat there for a while- thinking, observing, analyzing. It was so pretty. From the front of the park you see this shooting fountain and the monumental New York Public Libary in the background. There are a ton of people on the lawn, in the chairs, riding the merry-go-round. I wish that I could share it with my loved ones, but that's the catch.

My digital camera hasn't come in yet, so I'll take pictures as soon as I can. Have a great week and thanks for keeping up.

Until next time!
Em